VAMPIRE DIARIES 5.19 "Man on Fire" Review: I'm Gonna Grab Barbie's Neck and Squeeze Until Her Expandable Hair Falls Out

What a brutal, beautiful episode from start to finish. Excellent performances and direction and an even better script made this a real highlight in an otherwise lackluster last half of the CW staple's fifth season.

Believing that Stefan killed the love of his life, Maggie, Enzo holds Stefan and Elena hostage with Olivia’s help. After some stake twisting, Damon arrives to confess that he was the one who squeezed and squeezed and squeezed until Maggie’s head popped off back in 1960. Enzo turns his humanity off and abducts Elena but Stefan is hot on his trail, swiftly punching his fist through Enzo’s beautiful chest. Enzo, however, is oddly pleased: what better revenge is there than for Stefan to kill his brother’s best friend? He then pushes away from Stefan, leaving his own heart in Stefan’s hand. Ew and sad. Stefan, Elena, and Bonnie conspire to tell Damon that Enzo left town while Bonnie also lies to Jeremy about the awful truth that her time is quickly running out as the Other Side disintegrates.

Elsewhere, Tyler learns that the Travelers, under Markos’ command, are using doppelganger blood to undo witches’ magic, which is there means of finally settling down. How do they figure this out? By having Sloan feed on Tyler, slit her throat, bring her back, have her drink the last of Stefan and Elena’s blood that the Travelers have on tap, and then watch her drop dead all over again because magic is no longer keeping her alive. Brutal. Unfortunately, this means that Markos is intent on getting even more doppelganger blood so his gang of Travelers can all partake in the magic-canceling goodness and they can finally find a home.

Let me give it to you straight: this episode was a slam-dunk. Wow. Solid character development for both Damon and Enzo from start to finish with a fascinating conflict for Stefan along the way. Bonnie had a great role, facing her own mortality yet again without it being repetitive, and Tyler helped advance the overall plot of the season. Everyone turned in fantastic performances but I feel like Michael Malarkey is the obvious MVP (although Kat Graham and Ian Somerhalder gave excellent performances and Paul Wesley was clearly having fun so the whole world was having fun with him). The fact that the love triangle was nonexistent in this episode proved that it has become extraneous dead weight, dragging down potential development in previous episodes of this season. Let’s let the characters breathe and deal with life like they did in this episode rather than forcing them into ridiculous fanfiction-like circumstances just to test the strength of their romantic relationships, huh? 

This episode gets an astounding A+ from me. What a riveting, dark, and funny (YAY, PAUL WESLEY!) script and the direction was especially gorgeous (THOSE SETS!).