Dear Penn Badgley, CUT YOUR HAIR!

Penn Badgley, of “Gossip Girl” fame (or infamy, depending on how you look at it), has been lost to us, pulled away into the wild growth and all-consuming underbrush that his hair has become. If you’re walking down the streets of Manhattan or shopping in Los Angeles, be careful who you offer a dollar to because they’re not all homeless. Statistically speaking, 1 out of every 5 homeless men is Penn Badgley.

Now, I know what you’re all thinking: looking dirty and unkempt is the new thing. All the cool hipsters are doing it. So maybe my issue is with something much larger than one TV star but, until I can speak at the International Hipster Conference (AKA: Coachella), I’ll just take it out on Badgley.

You see, it’s not just that he doesn’t seem to own a hairbrush or soap, but that “Gossip Girl” is actually allowing him to keep this look while in character as Dan Humphrey. Way back when, the show was a beacon of high fashion and hot styles and, while I might still covet the clothes they wear every week, I’m starting to wonder if the show had to let their hairstylists go for the sake of the budget. Because it’s not just Badgley: even Leighton Meester and Blake Lively have been frizzy and messy since this season started! Has “Gossip Girl” gone DIY? Is this symbolic of the rapid decline in quality that the show has suffered over the past two years?

And, for the love of god, how has Blair Waldorf not taken a buzzer to Humphrey’s head since they started dating? Forget the fact that they’re from different social classes or that their exes are their friends. In what world would Blair want to be seen in public with a guy like Humphrey who looks like he hasn’t given his appearance a second of thought since 2010? Especially after dating such stylish and well-kept men like the suave Chuck Bass or the…well, bland Prince Louis. Blair has a track record! Not being shallow is out of character!

Call me petty, call me superficial, call me mean. I don’t mind. I’ll let you all look at the evidence and tell me how you feel about Homeless Hipster Humphrey in the comments!

Mufasa? Is that you?

Zoe Kravitz and Bozo the Clown.

Zoe Kravitz and a Homeless Man.

 

His hat doesn't even want to stay on that hair!

And now let's relive the good days...

Coachella 2011: What a difference a year makes.

Circa "Gossip Girl" 2010.

All images are from Penn Badgley Web.