VAMPIRE DIARIES 5.19 "Man on Fire" Review: I'm Gonna Grab Barbie's Neck and Squeeze Until Her Expandable Hair Falls Out

What a brutal, beautiful episode from start to finish. Excellent performances and direction and an even better script made this a real highlight in an otherwise lackluster last half of the CW staple's fifth season.

Believing that Stefan killed the love of his life, Maggie, Enzo holds Stefan and Elena hostage with Olivia’s help. After some stake twisting, Damon arrives to confess that he was the one who squeezed and squeezed and squeezed until Maggie’s head popped off back in 1960. Enzo turns his humanity off and abducts Elena but Stefan is hot on his trail, swiftly punching his fist through Enzo’s beautiful chest. Enzo, however, is oddly pleased: what better revenge is there than for Stefan to kill his brother’s best friend? He then pushes away from Stefan, leaving his own heart in Stefan’s hand. Ew and sad. Stefan, Elena, and Bonnie conspire to tell Damon that Enzo left town while Bonnie also lies to Jeremy about the awful truth that her time is quickly running out as the Other Side disintegrates.

Elsewhere, Tyler learns that the Travelers, under Markos’ command, are using doppelganger blood to undo witches’ magic, which is there means of finally settling down. How do they figure this out? By having Sloan feed on Tyler, slit her throat, bring her back, have her drink the last of Stefan and Elena’s blood that the Travelers have on tap, and then watch her drop dead all over again because magic is no longer keeping her alive. Brutal. Unfortunately, this means that Markos is intent on getting even more doppelganger blood so his gang of Travelers can all partake in the magic-canceling goodness and they can finally find a home.

Let me give it to you straight: this episode was a slam-dunk. Wow. Solid character development for both Damon and Enzo from start to finish with a fascinating conflict for Stefan along the way. Bonnie had a great role, facing her own mortality yet again without it being repetitive, and Tyler helped advance the overall plot of the season. Everyone turned in fantastic performances but I feel like Michael Malarkey is the obvious MVP (although Kat Graham and Ian Somerhalder gave excellent performances and Paul Wesley was clearly having fun so the whole world was having fun with him). The fact that the love triangle was nonexistent in this episode proved that it has become extraneous dead weight, dragging down potential development in previous episodes of this season. Let’s let the characters breathe and deal with life like they did in this episode rather than forcing them into ridiculous fanfiction-like circumstances just to test the strength of their romantic relationships, huh? 

This episode gets an astounding A+ from me. What a riveting, dark, and funny (YAY, PAUL WESLEY!) script and the direction was especially gorgeous (THOSE SETS!).

ARROW 2.20 "Seeing Red" Review: When It Comes to Your Children, No Decision is Impossible

I had to sit with this monstrous episode for ten minutes before I could start writing. That’s how difficult it was for me to process the events that just went down. Here I expected “Seeing Red” to be a Roy-centric outing but what we got was another well-balanced episode that blew up at least one relationship and drove a sword through a character’s heart. And, dear lord, was I not ready for any of it.

THE ORIGINALS 1.19 "An Unblinking Death" Recap: The Bell Jar

Tonight’s episode followed two riveting plots and the fallout of each: Father Kieran’s deterioration under the witches’ curse and a lethal attack on the werewolves’ camp in the Bayou. As a result, we were rewarded to Klaus making one giant, authentic leap forward in his character development, Marcel proving that he is not above devious scheming, and Hayley being undermined by an untrustworthy growler. Oh, and two deaths.

ARROW: The Thea Thing

The inclusion of Thea Queen was the one thing that worried me most about “Arrow.” The troubled teen sister reeked of the CW’s typical interference in the creative direction of a show. It’s a misguided attempt to inject youth into an otherwise adult cast, fearing that their key demographic – teen girls – won’t tune in if there are no teen girls in the cast to watch.

Fortunately, it worked out for “Arrow.” Thea Queen has never been the typical, rebellious girl-on-the-brink-of-womanhood, an archetype repeated far too often on CW shows (ahem, Jenny Humphrey). Instead, she’s proven herself to be a key part of Oliver Queen’s support system and an interesting character in her own right.

Yet one of my biggest grievances with the second season of the CW’s superhero hit is the seeming demotion of Thea from Oliver’s sister to Roy’s girlfriend, stripping her of the potential for a storyline separate from her love life. The recent revelation that she is really the daughter of the villainous Malcolm Merlyn is certainly a step in the right direction but I can’t help but feel that there is more that can be done to develop Thea Queen.

THE ORIGINALS: When You Play the Game of Thrones, You Win or You Die

I recently tweeted that Hayley is the Daenerys Targaryen of “The Originals.” There are sufficient parallels to be made between the two, in my opinion, however, after the beautiful, wonderful Carina MacKenzie retweeted my comment, the comparison came under rather intense scrutiny. I subsequently followed it by connecting characters from “The Originals” to their “Game of Thrones” counterparts - but I know as well as anyone else that Twitter isn’t the best medium for such an extensive task so I figured I’d lay it all out here.

So if Hayley is Dany, where do the other characters stand? In King’s Landing? North of the Wall? On the battlefield, perhaps?

Make Believe Casting Director: 10 Recently Unemployed Actors and Where I'd Like to See Them Next

 

As a rule, one cannot become too accustomed to having specific actors in their lives all the time always. It’s unfortunate but it’s true. Contracts expire, creative direction demands death, and sometimes unexpected decisions get made at the last minute that result in the departure of a beloved character. It’s heartbreaking to watch TV. But, fortunately, TV is also slightly incestuous, recasting our favorites time and time again as if there are no other actors in the universe.

Here are my top ten actors that need to return to my television and the shows I’d most like to see them show up on in the near future.

*Fair Warning: There be spoilers ahead for "Sons of Anarchy," "Game of Thrones," "Teen Wolf," "The Good Wife," and "Hannibal." Continue at your own risk.

On the Slope of a Pectoral: A Rumination on the Sideboob of Colton Haynes

Colton Haynes is a man of many chiseled faces but only one pair of spectacular pecs that put most award show attendees to shame. With this incredibly insightful, deeply meaningful post I will explore the many sides of Colton Haynes' boobs and the angles at which they can best be viewed.

REVENGE: 5 Ways to Save the Show

As many of my Twitter followers know, I have been a massive supporter of “Revenge” from day one. I even enjoyed the Initiative storyline, knowing that at some point we’d have to get to the root of the David Clarke conspiracy, the terrorist cell behind it, so why not sooner rather than later? Season three then took off right out of the gate with a fantastic first half and returned at midseason with an equally impressive slew of episodes. However, ever since Emily’s mysterious blackouts were so conveniently and unsatisfyingly resolved and Margaux’s father, Pascal, arrived in the Hamptons, the show has come to a screeching halt. My patience is fading and if that’s happening then surely everyone else with a much lower tolerance for “Revenge” is losing interest, too.

With only three episodes left in the third season, here are my top five fixes that “Revenge” should consider before breaking ground on the fourth.

ARROW 2.19 "The Man Under the Hood" Recap: It's Not Who I am Underneath, But What I Do That Defines Me

Tonight’s episode was “Arrow” at its best. Not only were there phenomenal action sequences – some of which were the best of the series – but the performances from the entire cast – notably Stephen Amell and Katie Cassidy - were just as stellar. Everyone had a role to play tonight and boy was it fantastic.

GREY'S ANATOMY: How Do You Say Goodbye to Cristina Yang?

 

We’re still weeks away from the iconic Cristina Yang’s big farewell but it’s never too early to speculate about how she’ll be sent off. In the past, “Grey’s Anatomy” has said goodbye to regular cast members with breakups, buses, plane crashes, and – most notoriously – imprisonment in the parking lot (I miss you, Dr. Hahn.). So what might be in store when Sandra Oh takes her bow on May 15^th? Thanks to a recently Instagram’d shot of the finale script (courtesy of SpoilerTV), I’ve got a few ideas.

THE ORIGINALS 1.18 "The Big Uneasy" Recap: This Place About to Blow

Previously on “The Originals:” Elijah announced he’ll take control of New Orleans if Klaus won’t and got every faction – vampires, witches, werewolves, and humans – to sign a peace treaty; Genevieve creeped on Marcel and Cami doing the nasty with her dreamcatcher (honey, I dream of that, too); Davina didn’t bitch-slap Mean Girl Monique; and Klaus offered the werewolves a moonlight ring, a possible key to the city – much growling ensued.

SUPERNATURAL: In a Show About Two Brothers, Does Anyone Else Matter?

The seventh season of “Supernatural” is coming to an end but the heated argument about how successful the year has been will last until the Fall. Coming off a season focused on monsters, angels, and Purgatory, season seven sought to give Sam and Dean Winchester a single group of Big Bads in the form of the Leviathan. But these aren’t your everyday villains: they’ve infiltrated the highest positions of power and are gunning for the Winchesters – who are struggling to find a way to fight back. One of the biggest subplots this season has focused on isolating the brothers, cutting them off from the lifelines they’ve relied on for seven years, and this move has gotten the fans up-in-arms about whether it was the best decision.

But the question lurking in the back of my mind is: in a show that is - and has always been - about two brothers, does anyone else matter?

NOTE: Within this post, there may be spoilers for episodes that have already aired. Continue reading at your own discretion.

The Doppelganger Trend: Are Two Leads Better than One?

There are at least three network shows that prominently feature their lead actress in dual roles: “Fringe,” “Vampire Diaries,” and “Ringer.” This isn’t a new concept and I can name numerous times when an actor has gotten to act opposite themselves on their own show but I’m curious as to why it’s becoming such a hot trend now? And is it always worth it?

NOTE: There may be spoilers for episodes that have already aired within this post. If you are spoiler-sensitive, continue reading at your own risk.

Dear Penn Badgley, CUT YOUR HAIR!

Penn Badgley, of “Gossip Girl” fame (or infamy, depending on how you look at it), has been lost to us, pulled away into the wild growth and all-consuming underbrush that his hair has become. If you’re walking down the streets of Manhattan or shopping in Los Angeles, be careful who you offer a dollar to because they’re not all homeless. Statistically speaking, 1 out of every 5 homeless men is Penn Badgley.

PRIVATE PRACTICE: You've Heard What Happened to Charlotte King but Have You Seen What’s Happened Since?

 

Writing convincing, slow-building character development is a difficult task. Anyone who writes – for a living or for fun – will admit to this. It’s a challenge that we all face but one that we enjoy struggling with, nonetheless. But these days, it seems like fully realized characters are becoming harder and harder to find. In fact, if someone asked me to name some of the best developed ones on TV today, I would be hard-pressed to list more than ten. However, the number one spot on my list, for the character who has never stopped growing, will always be reserved for one woman in particular: Charlotte King of “Private Practice.”

NOTE: This article discusses recently aired episodes of "Private Practice" but there are no spoilers for future episodes within this article.

THE HUNGER GAMES: Was Katniss Everdeen Whitewashed?

From Feminist Frequency.

Lately, there has been a lot of commotion about whitewashing - casting Caucasian actors in roles instead of people of color - and "The Hunger Games." People have been insisting that the character of Rue shouldn't have been African American while others believe that Katniss Everdeen shouldn't have been white. It is extremely unfortunate that this is still happening in America, that people of color aren't given leading roles in films and that their stories are rarely told on the big screen. It really is. But I feel like the casting if Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss isn’t the best example of whitewashing considering it’s a movie based on a book as opposed to a brand new script - in which there are no definitive physical descriptions.

FRINGE: 4.19 "Letters of Transit" - Thoughts and Theories

Professor Nina: Did anyone really expect her to age poorly?

After tonight's mind-blowing episode of "Fringe," the entire series is up in the air. I'm not just talking about it being renewed for a fifth (and probably final) season, though. This episode literally changed the entire game. I know that it's made me reevaluate what we know and what we've seen of the Observers and it's definitely put the entire fourth season into context (why erase Peter if the problem was that he had a baby with Fauxlivia, not Olivia? Wouldn't that mean no baby would've been made at all?). In this post, I want to touch on some of the main topics that were on my mind during and after "Letters of Transit."

If you haven't seen the episode yet but want to read my thoughts and theories, you can take a few minutes to read my recap of the episode. Or you can wait until they put it up on Hulu or Fox.com.

NOTE: There might be some spoilers for upcoming episodes laced throughout my theories. If you are sensitive to these kinds of things, I suggest you don't continue reading this post so as not to risk spoiling yourself. However, if I discuss a major piece of information for a future episode, I will be sure to make a note of it beforehand.

FRINGE: 4.19 "Letters of Transit" - Henrietta, We Got No Flowers for You

Desmond asks Walter if he knows where Penny is.

It's not unexpected for "Fringe" to pull out all the stops on a nineteenth episode. Every fan knows this. In the show's sophomore season, we got a forty-two minute blend of nearly every genre know to man; it was a musical, a love story, a classic noir, and a fascinating sci-fi trip. Season three surprised us even more when the episode was promoted as being an exploration of the unconscious mind of everyone's favorite heroine, Olivia Dunham, but then threw us into a tizzy when at least twenty-five minutes were spent as a cartoon!

The fourth season's highly anticipated installment, however, didn't seem to be shaping up to be anything outrageous. We've been to the future before (in the third season finale that erased Peter Bishop from the timeline) but we had never seen one that had been taken over by the Observers and that was the big draw, as far as I was concerned. Little did I know that this single episode could quite literally be a - and I know how abused this phrase is - game-changer.